"That's bullshit!"

At 4:00 a.m. I shut down the register, count money, print out a ton of information from various sources and fill out the shift and daily reports. It entails recording a bunch of numbers (such as cash sales, credit card sales, coupons, lotto and scratch card sales and payouts, food stamp sales, safe drops, safe withdraws, etc.) in the right places, adding and subtracting, and seeing how reality matches up with computerized data. It's not difficult but can be time-consuming and requires a bit of care and concentration.

Last night, right after I started, a young drunk woman comes in to buy a pack of Camel Menthol's.

ME: "It will take just a few moments before the register is back up and running if you can wait. Sorry."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "I'm in kind of a hurry."
ME: "Sorry, it will be about five minutes or so."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "I don't have five minutes."
ME: "Well, there is nothing I can do until these reports are done printing. Sorry. If you don't want to wait, I understand."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "Can't you pick a better time of day to your reports?"
ME: "What better time of day than 4:00 a.m.?"

She decides to wait, and walks up and down every aisle I just mopped, goes to the back of the store to get nachos, spills hot cheese from the machine I just cleaned all over the counter I just cleaned, leaves a trail of nacho cheese on the floor while walking from the back counter back to the register, then starts chatting away while I am trying to add up some numbers on a calculator as she eats and drips cheese all over the counter. Apparently, she didn't notice because she put her purse down in the cheese. I couldn't understand all she was saying; something about her boyfriend and friends being assholes because they deserted her at a bar and she had walk home only to find she was locked out of her apartment.

I had to recalculate the numbers several times.

ME: "The register is back up and running"
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "Well, thank God!"

I ring up the nachos and cheese and her cigarettes: $8.74. She wants to pay for everything with her EBT (Food Stamp) card.

ME: "Sorry, but you can't use EBT for cigarettes or nachos."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "Oh, that's bullshit. Yes I can"
ME: "No, sorry. You can't."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "I should be able to buy the nachos with my card."
ME: "Sorry, you can't."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "That's bullshit."
ME: "Sorry, can't do it."

I tell her she can have the nachos, and deduct $1.99 from the total. She now owes $6.75 for the Camels. She digs through her cheese-smothered purse and comes up with $3.69 in quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies.

ME: "Sorry, that's not enough."
YOUNG DRUNK WOMAN: "That's bullshit."
ME: "Sorry."

She leaves.

I finish closing the books, clean up her mess, clean the machines again and mop the floors once more. By then, it's time to start making coffee and prepare for the morning rush.