Crotchety old Scrooge

A crotchety mean old Scrooge comes into the store every morning for coffee and a pack of Mavericks. Recently, as he was readying to use the magnetic card reader, he demanded $4.50 "cash back" in quarters.

ME: “Debit or credit?”
SCROOGE: “What the hell do you think? I want cash back.”
ME: “Sorry. Of course. Just a question I ask out of habit.”
SCROOGE: “Well try thinking.”
ME: “Thanks for the kind advice. I’ll give it my best shot.”

He swipes his card, the transaction goes through, the register opens and I begin counting out his “cash back,” but I only have $1.50 worth of quarters left.

ME: “I am low on quarters, if you give me a few minutes I can drop more from the safe.”
SCROOGE: “I don’t have all day.”
ME: “It won’t take all day, just a few moments. Do you want to wait? Do you want more quarters?”
SCROOGE: “Well hurry up.”

I put the quarters I have on the counter and begin to reach down for the safe. He holds out his hands and demands, “Put them in my HAND!”

ME: “Excuse me?”
SCROOGE: “PUT THEM IN MY HAND!”
ME: “Are you serious?”
SCROOGE: “Don’t put them on the counter, PUT THEM IN MY HAND!”
ME: “What is wrong with you?”
SCROOGE: “Hurry up.”
ME: “You are pitiful."
SCROOGE: "What did you say?"
ME: "You are a miserable old man, aren’t you?”
SCROOGE: “What? You can’t talk to me like that.”
ME: “You are a miserable old fucking man. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you treat people like shit?”

Right about then, the store’s assistant manager shows up for work, sees what’s going on, intervenes and tells me to back off.

ME (to Assistant Manager): “Fire me if you want, but I am not dealing with assholes like this.”

SCROOGE: “You should not be working in customer service.”
ME: “You should learn to treat people with respect.”

He leaves. My boss tells me to take a break and calm down. Later he tells me that yes, the guy is an asshole, but I should have backed off when he asked me to. I agree. “He brought the Marine in me out,” I explain. “Which, believe me, is not something I like.”

The customer who was in line behind Scrooge (also a regular) says, “Dave, for what it’s worth, you’re a nice guy and you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of thing.”

The next day, my assistant manager tells me he talked to our store manager about the incident.

ME: “What did she say?”
ASSISTANT MANGER: “She laughed. She thinks the guy’s an asshole too. She says you got a bit carried away, but she is glad to have someone who stands up for himself working graveyard.”