"What the fuck are you looking at?"

A young guy and a young woman come in at 2:20 a.m., head to the beer cooler, seem upset that it’s locked, and come to the counter to complain.

ME: “Sorry, but I can’t sell beer after 2:00.”
WOMAN: “Oh, come on!”
ME: “Sorry, it’s Montana state law.”
WOMAN: “Ask me if I give a fuck!”
ME: “What?”
WOMAN: “Ask me if I give a fuck about state laws.”
ME: “You ask me first.”
WOMAN: “Huh?”
ME: “You ask first.”
WOMAN: “Ask what?”
ME: “Ask me if I give a fuck.”

She seems confused. She looks at the guy she is with. I look at him too. They both seem drunk. He glares at me and I just smile.

GUY: “What the fuck are you looking at?”
ME: “You. . . her. . .The Coca-Cola sign behind you . . . “

I point at the sign and he looks back at it.

ME: “. . . It’s got a snowboarder on it; see it? . . . And the lights outside . . . And the moon. Look at that moon!”

He looks outside at the moon. Then looks back at me.

GUY: “What the fuck are you talking about?”
ME: “You asked me what I was looking at.”
GUY: “You’re an asshole.”
ME: “I can be, yes.”

As they leave I say,

"Here's looking at you, kids!"