“Dude, I’m dying of a natural, organic cancer.”

Missoula is the kind of place where a lot of folks smoke American Spirits, and I sell a lot of them.

They’re hip. They’re cool. They’re 100-percent natural, additive-free and organic . . . dude.  We Missoulians love things that are organic, natural and overpriced. Smokers of American Spirits can get pretty snooty about it, in the same way that some people who drive a Prius or shop at the Good Food Store do.  

Here’s what a cool hipster-dude-customer told me the other night after buying a pack of “Spirit” organics in the teal-colored box:

“You shouldn’t even sell other kinds of smokes, dude. They’re cool (he holds up the box). They don’t have all that rat poison and shit that other cigarettes do . . . it’s all natural and organic . . . they care about small farmers and the planet . . . dude.”

They are definitely clever with their marketing and advertising.

It’s true that Spirits don’t contain the same long list of additives present in conventional cigarettes. They refuse to do animal testing (In 2001, PETA and other animal activists applauded American Spirit for becoming the first-ever cruelty-free cigarette in the U.S.) They donate money to environmental causes. They encourage consumers to send in cigarette butts for recycling. They provide employee same-sex domestic partner benefits. They use an image of a Native American wearing full head-dress smoking a peace pipe on their packages (“Based on our belief in the traditional American Indian usage of tobacco—in moderation and in its natural state”).  They come in an assortment of bright, beautiful colors. 

They are hip. They are cool.

When I smoke (I’m on and off with it) I smoke American Spirits (sometimes in the bright pretty yellow box, sometimes in the light baby blue box).  

Okay, so granted: They are made by the Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company which is owned by R.J. Reynolds, the world’s second largest tobacco company (behind Philip Morris), which also owns Camel, Winston, Salem, Kool, Pall Mall and other brands. When I smoke them I am still inhaling carbon monoxide, particulate matter, carcinogenic polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons and toxic nitrosamines.

But let’s not ruin a cool, hip thing with silly facts.

We smokers of the Spirit can feel pretty self-righteously good about ourselves when, someday in the future, we can proudly say: 

“Dude, I’m dying of a natural, organic cancer.”