Saturday, November 1, 2014

From the Graveyard: All Hallows' Eve Edition

On most nights if someone wearing a mask walked into the store I'd be a bit nervous. Last night it was fun at first, but quickly became annoying. 

The traditional focus of All Hallows' Eve revolved around the theme of using "humor and ridicule to confront the power of death."  In a modern-day American college town the theme seems to be “dress up and get obnoxiously shit-faced drunk.”  I used humor, ridicule and even anger to confront the irritatingly inebriated.

Early in the evening it was mostly a typical, happy and pleasant assortment of ghosts, goblins and monsters stopping by for beer and cigarettes. There was also a sexy, barely-dressed gladiator and a pretty cute astronaut.


After the bars closed things got scary, creepy, frightening and downright evil. A Superman got in a fight with a clown (the clown was getting the best of him before I broke it up).  A prostitute threw up on the floor. A witch got bitchy because I wouldn’t sell her brew after 2:00.  A hot devil knocked over a display of candy and spilled 44-ounzes of Mountain Dew. A Playboy bunny got angry and cussed out a priest who was hitting on her. A fake cop passed out in the bathroom requiring a real cop to come get him out. 

There were still kings, fairies, vampires, zombies, axe murders and lumberjacks coming in at 4:00 am when hunters were arriving – at least I think they were real hunters (difficult to tell nowadays).   

The graveyard was hellishly, ghoulishly full and alive all hollows’ eve

It was the night of the living dead.

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