Super Sunday Holiday: The Glorious Crusade on the Gridiron

Super Bowl Sunday! It may as well be a national holiday. It already seems as big, holy and commercialized as Christmas, and there’s no wars that I know over its name – although the truly devout do, indeed, quibble over doctrine; which divine sect to  align with in the Jihad: Russell Wilson or Tom Brady? Seahawks or Patriots? The Legion of Doom or the Homeland Defense?

More importantly: Which commercials will be best? Which commercials will be offensive? Does the snarling wolf in Budweiser's Lost Puppy ad present a false and negative image of wolves? Will Katy Perry stage an inappropriate wardrobe malfunction? Will the media find a new and unique angle for a Super Bowl story that has not already been thoroughly covered in excruciating detail? Will Deflate-gate lead to the fall of an empire? Will a player say something like "You mad bro?" that will be immortalized in memes forever? Will Brady and Belichick reach legendary heights or will a new dynasty of saviors arise?

Which owners will move from the millionaire bracket to the billionaire bracket? Which players will receive $100,000 bonuses?  If the Seahawks prevail will Russell Wilson's meager $817,302 salary soon match Tom Brady's $14.8 million?  With the commissioner of the National Football League, Rodger Goodall, making $44.2 million and the League raking in about $9.5 billion a year will the NFL maintain its nonprofit, tax-exempt status? 

Which team will God side with?

Many of the customers coming into the store last night were stocking up on beer and chips in preparation for the imminent, glorious crusade on the gridiron. Most wore Seahawk hats, shirts or sweatshirts, some wore Patriots merchandise -- all proudly displaying their faith and denominational allegiance.

"A Seattle fan, hey? How do you think they'll do tomorrow?" I'd ask while ringing folks up. Or, "Go Pats, hey? Think they'll pull it off?" 

Various answers: 

"My team's gonna kick ass!"
"Russell is my man!"
"Tom Brady is unstoppable"
"Brady ain't getting through the Legion of Doom!"
"The Patriots cheat."
"Seahawks got it made if Brady don't deflate his footballs."
"Seahawks suck."
"Patriots suck."
"My team's going all the way!"

Soon after the bars closed a heavy-set guy in a Seahawks hoodie came in kind of drunk. 

"Dude, Seattle has the defense, and it's defense that wins games," he said.
"But can't offense win games?" I ask.
"No, dude, it's defense that wins."
"But what if a good offense overcomes the defense, then won't the offense win?"
"Not if the defense stops them, dude . . . it's defense that wins games."
"So defense wins. I will remember that," I say.
"Exactly dude!"
"Thanks."
"Your welcome. It's advice my coach used to tell us."

He told me all about his high school football career when he helped lead the Sentinel Spartans to victory against the Hellgate Knights.

"Coach was right," he said. "We had a hell of a defense, dude, and we won."
"Congratulations," I say. "Sounds like you had an insightful coach."
"Hell yeah," he replies.

I played guard in high school, I tell him. We were pegged the "Cinderella Team" because we had a long winning streak and advanced to the championship after losing our first three games.

"You know what my coach used to tell us?" I ask.
"What?"
"He used to say, 'The team that puts the most points on the scoreboard is the team that will win the game,'" I tell him.

He thinks about it for a moment.

"Dude, that is so totally true!"
"Indeed. Apparently we both had insightful coaches."

He high-fives me before he leaves.

"Happy Superbowl Sunday," I say. "I'll be keeping my eye on Tom Brady's balls!"